Thursday, 18 May 2017

Promises...

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The UK is awash today with yet more outrageous political promises we all know aint going to happen, but it did prompt me to suggest a few promises myself.  We can bullshit too....

(1)  I promise to not let anyone wind me up online this year, I've mined the comment slot, with more Trojans than the ancient Greeks could ever handle.....

(2)  I Promise to learn at least one sign a day in ASL and BSL, in order to break down communication barriers, today's sign is "shut it...!",  tomorrow's is "Whatever."

(3) I promise to read every word of Understanding deafhood, and worship Paddy Ladd as the coming messiah... After that perhaps war and Peace,  understanding thermoculear Dynamics Vol 9, and hyper-critical proton technology for beginners handbook, for some light relief and lot more clarity...

(4)  I Promise to abstain from lip-reading for the coming year, I'm going to learn phrenology, practice foretelling the future in a glass ball,  and mind-reading instead.... all appear equally ridiculous.

(5)  I Promise NEVER to join an awareness group, and to ban deaf awareness from all my blogs.  Who reads it ? we don't...

(6)  I Promise to continue to abuse charity workers for their own good, and create a 'throw a custard pie at them..' week.

(7)   I Promise NEVER to plug the latest electronic gizmo for deaf people, they bore us rigid already, most are obsolete before we see them, and I don't want to know anyway, pigeons work fine....

(8)  I Promise to poke fun at anyone who quotes 'Facebook', 'social site' or 'Twitter' on my blog, and to direct them to a psychiatrist for intensive shock treatment (Like meeting real people, and utilising that hole under their nose.. and that gooey grey stuff between the ears.)

(9)  I Promise to never take any notice of people who quote Wikipedia, or newspapers I'll direct them to a proper source of information, (but they probably can't read, or don't want the truth anyway...).

(10)  I Promise to annoy support service workers, and ridicule 'communication' classes based on who has the cash to be enrolled in them, also to make teacher's lives difficult by sending people with actual hearing loss to them.

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